A people pleaser is someone who continually attempts to keep others happy in all situations. Such individuals always step in to help others and at times at the cost of their own comfort or needs. They often try to remain in the good books of others.
The urge to please others stems from a feeling of insecurity, rejection and poor self-esteem. The drive to make everyone else happy may also sometimes arise from a lack of contentment inside.
People pleasers may be perfectionists who want everything to be flawless, including how they are regarded by others. People-pleasing may arise from fundamental childhood ideas that you must make others happy in order to be worthy of their affection or that if you cease people-pleasing, you would be abandoned or uncared for. People-pleasers may not always require others to do things for them or anticipate anything in return for their help.
However, people-pleasing behaviour has many risks and it may affect an individual’s personality in a negative way. Here are a few risks the people pleasers face.
Stress: Stress happens when a person fails to find a solution to a problem. People pleasers are likely to have a long to-do list or many tasks in the pipeline due to their effort to help others. This in the long run could lead to stress as they may not be able to finish all tasks at hand.
Passive aggressiveness: People who feel they have no option but to satisfy others may develop resentment for their role, which may lead to frustration at times. This might emerge as passive-aggressiveness, which occurs when someone displays anger indirectly. When someone is dissatisfied, it might have an impact on their relationships as well.
Low self-esteem: People who spend a lot of time worrying about pleasing others may lose sight of what they want or how they feel. This might imply that they are less aware of their own needs. Evaluating oneself from the viewpoint of others may often keep people-pleasers under emotional pressure. The fear of not being able to please others and getting rejected by them may lead to low self-esteem and personality disorders.
