Marriage is something for which we wait for years. It is a beautiful feeling to find your soul mate and waiting to spend the rest of your life with your companion. Marriage is certainly something to be fully enjoyed. We all know that no relationship is perfect! And many times you or your spouse will say something that gets on your nerves. All married couples have been there and experienced the pros and cons of it. In marriage, words are powerful. Words can be used to build either an amazing relationship or to destroy a relationship.
We bring you a few things to be careful and you should never say to your spouse:
1. “STOP BEING CRAZY”
The way someone feels can never be “wrong”, which means they cannot be crazy. Instead of it, you should say, “Yes dear, I can see things, how do you would feel that way.”
2. “Nothing or Kuch Nahi”
Talking in couples-therapist-speak “stonewalling,” or called the “silent treatment,” is very hazardous to a relationship. It not only creates frustration, but it also disconnects you with your partner. Instead of this, tell your companion that you need some time to “calm down,” and then you can go back to the conversation later.
3. “BLAME-GAME”
The most nonconstructive and useless thing is assigning blame. It does nothing but just leads to further anger. Instead of it, always consider your contribution to the problem. Directly ask of your companion for what you would like her/him to do differently.
4. Complaining Nature
According to researchers, criticism has been identified as one of the 4 communication habits that predict ‘divorce’. Be constructive, instead of discussing all of your partner’s shortcomings again. Simply tell her/him,
- how you feel about them
- what you would like her/him to do in a unique way.
5. Try to behave better
Have you heard that request is always better than criticism? Yes, it is. Especially in marriages, unrealistic requests just further intensify the situation by frustrating your companion. Be specific with your spouse. Tell them what you would like, and be realistic with them. For instance, don’t complain that “You’re not paying attention to me,” say, “Please give me a hug me when you are home from work”
6. Never say “divorce”
Divorce may sound a bit dramatic, but it destroys families. You may not realize it but it hurts your partner. It causes uncertainty and mistrust in your blooming relationship. Instead of it, you should explain to your spouse how do you feel? And in case, if you are too angry to talk, take a short break, but go back to the conversation later. But don’t give your partner, the silent treatment.
7. Comparison
Instead of comparing your marriage to others, focus on your partner’s contribution. In addition to it, openly appreciate your spouse for what he or she does “right or wrong.” If there are chances for improvement, without any comparison, simply ask him/her for what you would like them to do with a specific reasonable request.
8. IN-LAWS issue
Always show solidarity to your spouse whenever it comes to other people’s criticism. Moreover, if you have your own issue and problem with your partner’s behavior, then take it up with them. Pour your feelings out and make a direct request. There is no need to “gang up” all your relatives, friends on your companion, in order to prove your point.
