Conflicting libidos or wildly different sexual inclinations indicate mismatched sexual ambitions and are often a frequent issue in a relationship. These disputes are usually not discussed, leading to the partners suffering in silence. Such disparity in a relationship makes it vital that the partners are willing to communicate openly with each other instead of brushing off the problems.
It can cause tension and arguments, frustration, dissatisfaction, emotional distance, and low esteem.
It may feel awkward or embarrassing, but this leads to the partners holding back. Hence, it is imperative that couples talk openly and positively about what they want in the bedroom.
Here’s how you can navigate through the different sexual inclinations or conflicting libidos-
COMMUNICATION
Without a clear understanding of our needs, our partners cannot fulfil them. Talking honestly to them is the first step. An honest and open discussion can assist the partner to understand what the other person prefers and then together as a team you can explore the various desires. If you are still struggling, consider asking your partner about what turns them on, their sexual activities and their fantasies.
COMMON INTEREST
No matter the differing sexual interests, as long as you are able to find common grounds that you can explore together. Identify the overlaps to experience satisfaction and fulfilment.
SET BOUNDARIES
Start off by discussing each other’s boundaries and comfort levels in sexual activities. You can choose safe words as well. This will help you both avoid pressurizing each other into doing something they don’t want to. Once the boundaries are set, it shows your respect and the importance of each other’s consent for a fulfilling sexual relationship.
FINDING SOLUTIONS NEED TIME
Resolving sexual conflict, finding common interests, or matching their libido takes a lot of time and effort. While communication with complete honesty might be the way, it also requires patience, understanding and lots of trial and error implementation to finally get it right. It is also about being aware that you are not in a relationship with just yourself and your feelings. Focus on emotional and sexual intimacy too. Strengthen your bond outside the bedroom too. Just like other aspects of a relationship, sexual activities too require a healthy dose of give and take.
SEEK HELP
Whether individually or together, you can consider seeking help from a professional or a therapist. Therapy can help you in addressing the underlying issues and work through them without guilt and embarrassment.
