The relationship between spouses is believed to be one of the most important relationships. Our life partners are supposed to be our unconditional support system. However, often people begin turning against their spouses or feel like their spouse is not in their team. In other words, people start seeing their life partner as an enemy instead.
From constantly feeling defensive or finding it hard to reach a solution, here are five signs that show you might view your spouse as an enemy-
You get defensive very easily
Instead of trying to understand their side of the story, you immediately feel wronged. Your first instinct during any conflict or even a simple difference of opinion is to defend yourself. Getting overly defensive prevents one from being vulnerable and resisting honest communication. If you feel that your emotional responsiveness towards your spouse is on the decline, then it is a sign that you see them as a distrustful figure.
You feel insecure
Insecurity is often described as a “side effect of loving too much but receiving too little”. If you constantly second guess your spouse’s affection or think that you are not being valued then it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Feeling insecure in a marital relationship can hamper your self-esteem and may make you perceive your spouse as an obstacle on the path to self-love and a sense of emotional security.
You feel unheard in the relationship
When you feel that your opinion is not needed while making any decision or your spouse does not ask you for advice, it can show that they do not care about your needs. In the long run, not being asked about your viewpoint can make you feel unheard and undervalued.
You feel contempt towards them
The biggest red flag in any relationship is feeling contempt towards your partner. It is believed that no relationship can thrive without respect. If you harshly judge your partner’s life decisions or cannot share peaceful silence with them then it means that you may see your spouse as a rival.
You feel like giving up on the relationship
Esther Perel, a Belgian-American psychotherapist, known for her work in the field of romantic relationships, once said, “Love is a verb. Not a permanent state of enthusiasm.” Perel believes that a sign of a healthy relationship is not the absence of conflict but the wish to resolve that conflict. If you feel like giving up on your relationship and do not put any effort into reviving it then it may indicate that you see your spousal relationship as an adversity.
