Are you looking for clever and funny ways to answer the phone? Skipping over the typical “How do you do?” and replacing it with a silly saying can be a great way to spice up conversations with the people that you talk to every single day.
They can also be an amusing way to shut down those spam calls that seem to come at all hours of the day and night. No need to hold the call! We have some hilarious ways to answer the phone right here.
Funny Ways to Answer the Phone: Joke Edition
What better way to start a conversation than with a joke? These silly one-liners can be used with friends or as a sneaky way to start and end your incoming spam calls.
- Did you hear that a Tyson farmer has gone missing? The police suspect fowl play. I’m going to be honest. I’m a bit chicken, so I think I’m going to have to eggs-it this conversation now.
- Hello! I hear that it is raining cats and dogs out there! You better watch out for all the poodles…
- Hey there! This is your neighborhood mathematician! I wish I could stick around and chat, but I’m going to have to calc-u-later!
- Oh my gosh! Thank goodness you called — I have to share this with somebody. I perfected my banana bread recipe. It has been a loaf changing experience!
- Hello! Have you called to tell me the best fishing tips? If you can help me catch more fish, you just might be my fairy cod mother!
- You should be under a-roast! I mean, seriously, are you cruising for a brews-ing? Who calls someone this early? I haven’t even had my coffee yet.
- Hey! What do you need to say? Don’t be like a reluctant potato. I don’t have time for hesi-tators!
- Oh, thank goodness! Maybe you can tell me what to do! I accidentally swallowed some food coloring yesterday. I think I dyed a little inside.
- If you were my son and I was a buffalo, you know how I would end this call? Bison!
- I see that you are like a fisherman and decided to drop a line! Thanks for the oppor-tuna-ty to talk!
- Listen, you can try to butter me up, but I already have too many syrup-scriptions. I think I am going to have to be like a pancake and catch you on the flip side!
- I think you autumn know that I am not going to fall for your seasonal scams, so don’t even chai to convince me! Please make like a tree and leaf me alone! Gourd day!
Hilarious Ways to Answer the Phone Instead of “What’s Up?”
When you answer the phone, don’t just say “What’s up?” Make your introduction more interesting with a few exciting versions of this simple question.
- What’s shakin’, bacon?
- What’s the word, hummingbird?
- What’s kickin’, chicken?
- What’s crackalackin’?
- What’s the gist, physicist?
- What’s cookin’, good lookin’?
- What’s the plan, stan?
- What’s up, buttercup?
- What’s the word, little bird?
- What’s the deal, banana peel?
- What’s the story, morning glory?
- What’s new, bugaboo?
Funny Ways to Answer the Phone When It’s a Spam Call
When it comes to spam callers, once they get talking, they never seem to stop. Get the first word in with these funny ways to answer spam calls. They won’t know what to say next!
- Yodelayhee-who is there?
- Was there something strange in your neighborhood? Glad you called! Go for Buster!
- Give it to me straight … what did the blood tests show?
- Swole patrol — how can I lift you up today?
- Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I know I gave you my number, but I said call me, maybe.
- You have reached the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I’m sorry, we do not accept muggles at our school. Goodbye!
- I have the money! Please just let my sister go!
- Domino’s Pizza. How may I take your order?
- I’m sorry. The number you have dialed is not in service. Please try again later.
- All of our operators are currently busy. Please stay on the line and your call will be answered in the order that it was received.
- Thank goodness you called back. I need to report a robbery in progress…
- 911, what’s your emergency?
- Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?
- Please leave your message at the tone … BEEP!
- Good morning! I’m so glad that you called! Are you interested in buying some beautiful wrapping paper? It is for my son’s school fundraiser. I think you could use at least 10 rolls. How about you grab your credit card and I can take your information down when you are ready!
Need to Know
While these can be a fun way to respond to a wrong number, not all spam calls are safe to answer. Artificial intelligence can now steal your voice and use it to breach your security safeguards or scam loved ones. The FCC stresses that you “don’t answer calls from unknown numbers. If you answer such a call, hang up immediately.”
Humorous Ways to Answer the Phone Inspired by TV & Movies
For those folks who want to make an impression, try to answer the phone by imitating these iconic movie and television show moments! They are certainly a hilarious way to answer the phone and might bring a smile to the person on the other end.
- “Hello! This is Regina Phalange.” – Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffay in Friends
- “Seven days…” – Daveigh Chase as Samara in The Ring
- “Suit up!” – Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother
- “How you doin’?” – Matt LeBlanc as Joey Tribbiani in Friends
- “Good morning, Vietnam!” Robin Williams as Adrian Cronauer in Good Morning, Vietnam
- “Show me the money!” – Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire in Jerry Maguire
- “Here’s Johnny!” – Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance in The Shining
- “My name’s Ralph, and I’m a bad guy.” – John C. Reilly as Wreck-It Ralph in Wreck-It Ralph
- “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” – Mandy Patinkin as Iñigo Montoya in The Princess Bride
- “If someone says something bad about you, you’d want me to tell you right?” – Lacey Chabert as Gretchen Wieners in Mean Girls
- I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.” – Liam Neeson as Bryan Mills in Taken
Use Hilarious Alternatives to “Hello” That Brighten Everyone’s Day
Who doesn’t enjoy a little dose of silliness? These funny ways to answer the phone can bring a smile to everyone on the call and make their day a little brighter!
