When you think of a relationship you probably think of the milestones. The first date, first kiss, the proposal, your wedding day, anniversaries, and holidays shared together.
But in actuality, relationships are the culmination of thousands of choices you make every day. The decisions you choose dictate whether your marriage grows and strengthens, or whether it crumbles into disrepair.
To get started, check out this list of 11 things couples can do to strengthen their relationships today and every day.
1. Write Each Other Love Letters
While it may seem cheesy to some people, writing your partner love letters is a great way to maintain your relationship through the good times and bad.
This is because letters last a lifetime, while spoken words are fleeting. When your spouse is feeling unsure of your feelings, they can turn to your letter for renewed comfort.
Letters are also great because everyone likes to get mail. A letter lets you know that you were thought of and cared about.
2. Buy Each Other Small Gifts
While spending large amounts of money on lavish gifts isn’t a very good way to build a stable relationship, buying small things for your partner will let them know that you were thinking about them during your day.
Try something simple like picking up your wife or husband’s favorite candy bar the next time you go to the gas station. When you come home, your partner will feel cherished.
3. Spend Quality Time Together Outside
While cuddling every night on the sofa may feel like quality time, unless you and your partner are doing physical activities together where you communicate, your relationship will suffer.
The outdoors is a great place to take your spouse to strengthen your bond. By participating in physical activities you will learn to work better together in a positive and exciting environment. Plus, being in nature you will have plenty of alone time to talk out any issues you might be facing in a peaceful manner.
4. Go Out for a Night on the Town
Going out for a night on the town every once in a while is important for all couples, but especially new parents.
If you don’t take your partner out, they can start to feel like you are ashamed of them, or that you don’t want to spend time with them.
While “Saturday’s are for the Boys” may look cute on a t-shirt, your spouse needs to feel like they are getting a break from their daily life sometimes too.
5. Do Small Tasks for Your Partner
If your partner hates to vacuum, then you should pick up the slack. And if you hate to fold laundry, then that is a task they should do.
If you each think about each other daily and do small tasks to make each other’s lives better, you will be amazed at the compound effect it has on your relationship.
6. Voice the Things You Love About Them
While you may think your partner already knows they are wonderful, you should still compliment them. Instead of using surface complements like, “You’re so pretty.”, dig deeper into the soul of your partner.
Let them know how you love that they laugh too loud in the movie theater. Tell them that you find it adorable how the hair falls into their eyes. Show them that you see them for who they are and love what you see.
7. Ask Them How They Are and Wait for an Answer
While you may ask your partner about your day, do you actually stop to wait for their answer, or are you just being polite?
By taking an interest in your spouse’s day, you show them that you are interested in their experiences and value going through the ride of life together.
8. Appreciate Them
Everyone wants to feel appreciated, but people in romantic relationships very frequently fall short.
Start by saying thank you for the small things your spouse does for you, even if it doesn’t seem like a traditional time to say it.
For example, if your spouse makes the bed for you both in the morning, you can toss them a quick comment thanking them for taking the time, or letting them know how nice it looks. By knowing you appreciate their efforts, they will be more likely to do it again.
9. Make Eye Contact
When someone doesn’t meet your eyes, you know that something is up. Many men and women in relationships clam up with they get upset about something and use this strategy to cope.
But if you want a strong relationship, you need to look your partner in the eye and tell them what your needs are. Set the boundary, or nothing will get better.
10. Put Your Phone Away at Meal Time
While phones are great, the dinner table is not the place for them. Take some time to be present with your family and they will appreciate it thoroughly.
11. Don’t Worry About What is Fair
Fairness is a concept we believe in early in life, but as time goes on, and we become adults we learn that things are often unfair.
Learn to be okay with that. Make sure your partner respects you, but don’t fight every battle. Choose what is important to you and win on those issues, let your partner win on the rest.
