Right from birth till the time a child is in his/her pre-teen years, he/she is dependent on their parents or guardians but after a while, children should become independent and not be spoon-fed everything. There are various reasons why a child can become hyper-dependent and clingy with others and it all boils down to the fact about how they are raised.
Here are a few common mistakes that parents usually make with their children that may make them dependent while growing up.
Mollycoddling
As a parent, it is important to make a child feel loved and safe. But mollycoddling or being overprotective regarding your child will only make them more dependent. Instead of being solution-oriented, the child will seek you out for every small reason. Mollycoddling also leads to an inability to learn things properly. It can hamper the decision-making skills of the child while growing up. Parents should understand that they have to be supportive but not have to solve every little problem for them as they need to deal with and find solutions by themselves.
No Boundaries
Every relationship needs to have boundaries. It is important not to cross that line and interfere. Lack of boundaries by parents can affect the emotional and mental development and make the child more dependent on parents.
Constant validation-seeking behaviour
A child needs to be appreciated by their parents. Children should be praised for their small attempts as a toddler as it will work as a reinforcement for them. But as they grow up, the praise should not be for every small act. This will not only lower their self-confidence but also affect their sense of identity. It will also make them seek their parents’ approval for everything and further increase their dependency behaviour.
Ignoring the dependency trait
It is obvious for a child to rely on his/her parents when they feel threatened or when they feel sick. If the parents notice that the child is dependent on them for every small reason, then it should not be ignored. The ignorance of this behaviour can make the child take the parents for granted and affect the personality and self-identity while growing up. It is the parent’s responsibility to understand how much dependence is good for the child.
How to fix this?
Parents should let the children make each appropriate decision to inculcate their problem-solving behaviour which will in turn help them become independent as a grown-up. All of this will boost your child’s confidence and sense of self.
