Forgiveness is both a difficult task and a beautiful outcome. It also sets us on the path of healing after we have been hurt. Hence, it is vital to teaching your kids the ability to forgive and let go. And to let them know this will bring them inner peace and can build stable relationships. You must also teach your kids that compassion is an equally important part of forgiveness. However, sometimes, forgiveness can be overshadowed by societal expectations. Here are 5 things to teach your kid about forgiveness:
FORGIVENESS IS NOT FORGETTING
Not only children, but adults too can confuse forgiveness with forgetting. Often, an apology is not accepted out of fear that the incident will be repeated. Forgiveness and forgetting are two entirely different things. Let your kids know that they can forgive without forgetting the incident and the lesson it taught them.
FORGIVENESS IS NOT INSTANT RECONCILIATION
Never make your kids instantly forgive someone. If they feel pressured into saying something when they don’t mean it, the underlying issue will never get solved. Let them know that they never have to forgive someone if it does not come from the heart. They are allowed to take as much time as they need.
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS BEFORE FORGIVENESS
Before forgiveness, it is important to teach your child to understand what they are feeling. They must also be able to state how they felt before accepting the apology. Let them know it is okay to speak what’s on their mind in a calm, non-argumentative manner before they accept someone’s apology.
LOOK BEYOND THE ACTIONS
Help your kid understand that there can be a possible trigger for the person’s actions. This can in turn help them to a more compassionate and forgiving outlook. Let them know that sometimes, another person’s wrongdoings should be understood beyond what can be seen on the surface level. At the same time, teach them that they don’t have to feel responsible for the reason behind those actions. They can forgive once they have acknowledged their feelings too.
FORGIVENESS IS NOT ABOUT BEING RIGHT
Teach your kids that your forgiveness for someone should never be about being right. In any argument, the focus should not be on them against the other person. It should be about the relationship being right. They should care more about that relationship. If they feel wronged, they should calmly state their feelings without turning it into a battle of right or wrong.
