Children are difficult to handle in most of the cases. People are not able to realise that their children are becoming defiant in many cases that could cause social and behavioural problems in the future. Defiance in children is quite common because they tend to resist most of things you tell them to do. You must have noticed children indulging in activities that they may have been asked not to indulge in. All these things actually affect behaviour problems and then they tend to disobey their parents, teachers and older adults. Today we will look at some points that can help parents deal with their defiant children.
Which is the most common phase of defiance in children?
Majority of children show symptoms of defiance in the early childhood between the age of 5-9 years of age. It is the time of maximum growth in children and also when they try to question every possible thing that comes in their mind. Hence they resist many actions taken by their parents in order to know the reason behind it.
Another major cause of children being defiant is because they are going through some kind of mental problems such as anxiety, depression or ADHD because of which they act in a certain way. This can be sought out by addressing the main problem and most helping them understand what is correct for them.
Tips of Manage Defiant Children
1. Set Expectation
Do not try to exceed their expectations. This is in the sense that chores and rules need to be very clear of them to work on. It should not be something that comes out of the box for them. Children tend to become defiant if they are asked to do a task that seems very irrelevant to them or above their limits. Hence ask them to do simple chores, like keeping their things properly, regulating their screen time, using toiletries carefully, etc. If you ask them to clean their home or help in dusting etc, they will become defiant with time.
2. Get the Root Cause
Children become defiant because of some reason, there has to be some trigger that is making them resist your instructions. For this you need to keep a track on their activities for some days and observe if there is something they do very often. If there is a pattern, then it becomes easy to understand the cause behind it. This could be because of behaviour of their friends at school, having too much to do, or breaking them when they are trying to speak to you. This results to defiant behaviour in children.
3. Set a Good Behaviour
This means to have knowledge of what is going wrong and then trying to make adequate changes in order to set up their behaviour. First you need to cut down some of their activities of chores they may not be interested in doing, then you need to understand what troubles or irritates them. Once you take that thing out of their routine or have a solution for that problem, then most of the things can be sorted.
4. Talk it out
This is one of the best solutions to most of the problems. Age, gender, nothing matters when it comes to solving problems. Once you talk about the problem, it becomes easier to find a relevant solution for the same. If you want your child to tell you about problems they are facing or challenge they are dealing with, it can relieve half of their problems and yours too. Talking it out can get their defiant behaviour out and they might become more open to you about everything going on in their life which always helps.
5. Put Yourself in their Shoes
This is a phase which also means that you need to treat them in the way that you will want yourself to get treated. Put yourself in that situation and ask if all the things that they do at such an early age can be frustrating. Also what could be the exact situation or condition that might have triggered them. Then relate to them, have empathy and try to make them understand the scenario in a very polite and elaborate way, because that is how you would want to get treated.
6. Establish Rules very carefully
Rules and regulations are essential in your house when the child is growing up because they need to have a set pattern so that fall in the right direction. Having too much on their plate or irregular routine can also make them defiant. It can also reduce the factors that make your children defiant. For example if you set a rule that everyone needs to speak to each other in a polite and respectful way, then the child may not become very defiant about everything.
Also set the conditions straight that whatever you do may have consequences, this will enable them to control their resisting behaviour and follow your instructions more carefully.
7. Compromise If there is a Chance
It is not every time that child is at fault. Sometimes it may be possible that you have given them too much or there is a continuous battle going on in their mind to elevate stress or anxiety. This can also be because of some general issues that come along different mindset. For example- to know about the choice of dress to wear, or going out for a particular period of time, etc. In this case you can sit down and discuss all the options that are present to you. There can be some middle solution which makes both people satisfied.
