Narcissism is a personality trait where a person is extremely self-involved to the degree that it makes them ignore the needs of those around them. While some people showcase occasional narcissistic behaviour, others might have what is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Children can often develop narcissistic traits based on their environment.
Especially when there are mismatches in parent-child relationships. That is they either have excessive adoration or excessive criticism. This can also lead to mental health issues.
To avoid these issues, here are 5 parenting tips you can keep in mind:
Don’t Engage In Shame-Based Parenting
Shaming a child involves negatively commenting, either directly or indirectly about themselves. The focus shifts from the impact of their behaviour to holding a negative image of themselves. It can give rise to negative thoughts and feelings about themselves.
Many times, this type of parenting is accepted and widely used in both home and school settings. This can lead to a child developing what is called a “narcissistic injury”. As a result, when they grow up this can manifest in defiance, arguments, and even a narcissistic rage attack when encountering criticism, loss, or perceived abandonment.
Provide Unconditional Love
Always let your children know that they are loved for all that they are. A sense of conditional love can make the child fearful of failure. That can lead to an excessive need to compete and to win at everything. If they do not feel loved when things don’t turn out the way they expect, it can cause a lot of damage. Offer them positive feedback, especially at times of failure.
Coach Them On Empathy
Never underestimate the need for teaching your children how to behave empathetically towards others. You can start as early as when they are toddlers. It should not be just in theory but your children should be able to see this in your actions too. An age-appropriate demonstration is necessary. Remind them that they must treat others the way they wish to be treated.
Call Out The Gaslighting
Gaslighting refers to narcissistic behaviour where the culprit twists the reality to fit their version. This form of emotional abuse in the long run can make one question not only their beliefs but their sanity. If you think your child is trying to gaslight you or someone you know, talk it out with them. Set clear boundaries and communicate about their behaviour. Alternatively, you can also seek help from a therapist.
Try The Hamburger Method
One of the best ways to get your criticism across is through the Hamburger method. It is when before the confrontation or criticism, you begin by giving a constructive compliment. Then you offer your criticism and finally end your side of the communication with another constructive compliment.
A head-on confrontation might make the narcissist feel attacked and turn them defensive. With the Hamburger Method, it becomes more likely that your child will not only hear you but also understand your point of view. They will turn easier to be reasoned with.
