It’s no secret that, over time, the thrilling experience of a new romantic relationship fades into familiarity. The quirks you once found endearing now begin to grate on your nerves. Your heart no longer beats as quickly when your partner enters the room. Days can go by without sharing even a soulful kiss, let alone a steamy between-the-sheets session.
In some ways, that’s a good thing — it can be exhausting to devote all your emotional energy to infatuation. And if the relationship is a lasting one, it has to evolve past that butterflies-in-the-stomach phase and into a more sustainable, abiding love.
But what if there were a way to help keep the romance alive? There is! On your next date night, ask your partner the following deep questions to continue learning about one another. These meaningful conversations will strength your bond even further.
10 Deep Questions To Bring You and Your Partner Closer Together
Of course, you don’t have to sit down and fire away, as though you were Barbara Walters interviewing an influential person. Keep this list bookmarked, and throw out a question while the two of you are taking a road trip or enjoying a nice glass of wine together at day’s end.
1. What do you miss most about being a child or teenager?
We all know that the workaday life and the drudgery of “adulting” can be soul-crushing. Her answer to this question may also reveal a lot about what she dislikes in her current existence. Maybe the two of you can find some way to bring back the freedom or joy of childhood.
2. What are three specific things that you were grateful for this week?
Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” has been shown to offer a number of benefits, both physiological and emotional. You can help your partner achieve this benefits by asking for specifics.
This question is a good one to ask on a regular basis. Or try keeping a gratitude journal, either separately or as a couple, to help keep you thankful for your many blessings.
3. If you received five million dollars, tax-free and no-strings-attached, how would you change your life?
It’s always fun to speculate about winning a jackpot! This question can also reveal a lot about your partner’s secret dreams, values, and priorities.
4. Pretend you could go back in time, knowing what you know now. What advice would you give to your younger self?
We all have regrets. Most people can pinpoint crossroads and decisions that shaped their life — for good or for worse. You may be surprised to hear about the things your love wishes they’d done differently.
5. What historical time period would you travel back to, if you had access to a time machine?
Who knew your husband was fascinated by the Tudor period? Well, maybe you did. If that is the case, get more specific. Ask him what in particular he’d want to experience. Would he be part of Henry VIII’s court, or would he want to try his hand at being a miller or stonemason?
6. What do you think happens to us after we die?
If you and your loved one are religious, you may think you know this answer. But ask for candor, and the response may surprise you.
Other deep questions for those whose religious faith includes an afterlife in heaven would be “What do you think heaven is really like?” or “Who are you most looking forward to reuniting with in heaven?”
7. When did you first know that you were falling in love with me?
Reminiscing about the early days of a relationship is sure to reignite that spark. This question is designed to take you back in time. It will be interesting to look back on your first dates and conversations, and to learn which of you felt the spark first!
8. If money were no object, where would you travel, and what would you do on your vacation?
If you and your sweetie have been together for any length of time, you’ve probably taken a trip together. But reality sometimes gets in the way, even when it comes to getting away from it all.
Find out if your partner is more interested in a months-long road trip across the U.S., stopping to eat at every little diner or roadside cafe. Or maybe an all-expenses-paid cruise to tropical destinations is more appealing.
9. If you could change anyone habit or behavior of mine, what would it be?
This is definitely one of those deep questions that requires a little bit of trust. After all, you honey could admit that the sound you make when chewing drives him up a wall. On the other hand, he could want you to be kinder to yourself and less worried about whether you look fat.
It’s likely that after answering any of these deep questions, your partner will want to hear your answer, as well. With this one in particular, turnabout is fair play!
10. What do you want your legacy to be?
How to spend lottery winnings, where we’d like to travel on vacation, and what activities are on our bucket lists are things that most of us consider at least occasionally. This one is a bit more unusual, which makes it particularly valuable as a question to help bolster intimacy with your partner.
Some people may consider it morbid to talk about how they want to be remembered after they die. Others use their legacy as a way to inform everyday principles and decisions. The answer to this question will definitely give you insight into your sweetheart’s nature.
Final Thoughts
Of course, these deep questions are just examples. Any subject that gets you and your partner talking can help you become closer and keep the romance intact. If nothing else, these questions provide a welcome break from “Where should we go to dinner?” and “Whose turn is it to get up with the baby at 3 a.m.?”
