The common belief that “opposites attract” may not be true when the actual facts are considered. A large study examining over a hundred years of data and millions of couples found something interesting: most partners are actually quite similar to each other. Researchers examined data from more than 100 years and millions of couples, comparing traits like personality, habits, education, and everyday preferences. The result they got was very obvious: most people find partners who resemble them a lot.
Couples usually have the same values, lifestyles, and habits, which might be the reason why they get along so well and understand each other better. Just a handful of characteristics, such as being a morning or evening person, were found that didn’t correlate as much. On the whole, the research confirms that similarities rather than differences are what lead people to each other and relationships last.
Couples Often Match in Values, Habits And Everyday Choices
The research that was published in Nature Human Behavior concluded that 82–89% of the traits demonstrated strong similarities between the partners, which is a lot more than people would think. Couples were in agreement on many things, such as political views, religious beliefs, drinking and smoking habits, and even simple day-to-day routines. In addition, they resembled each other in a number of physical features, such as body type or wearing glasses.
The researchers think that this could be because people who share the same surroundings or lifestyle, like similar workplaces, neighborhoods, or social groups, naturally come together in pairs who share more traits. Moreover, numerous people find it easier to connect with someone who understands their lifestyle and has a similar worldview. Although the study cannot provide an exact reason for this, it gives an indication that shared traits are a big factor in the selection of our partners.
Some Differences Still Exist And They Don’t Hurt Relationships
While the study shows a strong trend towards similarity, it also points to a few traits where there is little or no overlap between partners. Things like being outgoing or shy, morning or night preferences, which hand they use, hearing ability, and feeling irritable didn’t match up much. In some instances, couples were even found to be slightly different in the respective traits.
However, these differences were not shown to have a significant impact on the success of the relationship. According to the researchers, minor personal quirks or biological traits take a back seat to more important things like shared values, goals, or lifestyles. The team also incorporated data from close to 80,000 couples in the UK Biobank, which featured not only common traits but also less typical ones such as childhood experiences and gaming habits.
The core point of the research is very straightforward: even though partners should not be expected to be identical in every little detail, it is the similarities in the major aspects of life that really determine attraction and compatibility over time.
