Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you’re dating someone, but they’re not really dating you? You go on dates, have great conversations, and maybe even become intimate, but when it comes to actually defining the relationship, your partner seems hesitant or even avoids the conversation altogether. If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing “pocketing”.
Let’s read on to know more about what is pocketing, the common reasons behind this and how to overcome it.
What is Pocketing?
Pocketing is a dating term used to describe when someone keeps their partner hidden away or “in their pocket” from their family, friends, and social circle.
Reasons behind pocketing
Commitment Issues
Some individuals may engage in pocketing as a result of being unable or unwilling to commit to a serious relationship or due to their fear of revealing their relationship to others, according to experts. Despite the fact that they may appreciate their partner’s company, they must still feel at ease discussing their private lives with others. They might be worried about committing too quickly and coming to terms with it.
Fear of being judged
Pocketing could also be the behaviour of your partner to avoid being judged by family, friends and acquaintances over the relationship. This could be an outcome of the apprehension about what their family and friends will think of them. They might be concerned that due to the differences over caste, religion or socioeconomic status, their loved ones won’t accept their relationship.
Interest in other partners
To avoid conflict
Some individuals pocket because they are aware that disclosing their relationship would lead to conflict in their family or social circles. For instance, someone who is dating someone who practices a different religion might decide not to inform their parents in order to avoid a conflict at home.
Controlling nature
The act of pocketing someone places the power in their hands, making it a covert form of manipulation and control. They may desire to keep their partners to themselves and not discuss them with others. This is a red flag in a relationship for the other partner, according to experts.
What to do if you feel you’re being pocketed?
If you suspect that you’re being pocketed, it’s important to have an honest conversation with your partner about how you feel. If they’re not willing to introduce you to their friends or family, ask them why. If they’re hesitant to talk about the future of your relationship, ask them what they’re looking for in a partner.
It’s also important to set boundaries for yourself. If you’re uncomfortable with the way your partner is treating you, don’t be afraid to speak up and let them know. If they’re not willing to make changes or address your concerns, it may be time to consider whether this relationship is right for you.
