Saying “NO” in any relationship can be tricky because it might come out as offensive or problematic. But it is important to put boundaries in a relationship to avoid things from messing up. Instead of succumbing to a standardized notion of what a relationship should be, it is more important that you show some self-care. It is possible to be in a healthy relationship and yet have your own identity.
It is rather difficult to say no to the people around you whom you want to see happy. But sometimes such situations arise where you need to say no for your own good. A forceful “yes” can only lead to problems in your relationship. However, you do not need to be brusque and impatient while saying no. It should be handled with love, empathy and compassion. So here are some ways in which you can say “NO” in a relationship and still preserve it.
Name your boundaries
Not everyone can understand your limits if you do not communicate them. Make sure you tell your partner about your boundaries at the initial stage of your relationship to avoid explaining where you stand. Communicating your wishes and limits will allow your partner to understand what to expect as you move forward in the relationship. To avoid chaos and build a strong bond within your boundaries, it is vital to communicate your boundaries.
Do not make hasty decisions
A person should know when to say no. If you feel that you have to say no this time regarding anything, then it’s time for you take a stand before making it awkward for the other person. For instance, if your partner has asked you to go out on a particular day when you have other commitments, then it is better to say no in the beginning than to face the repercussions later. Cancelling a plan after committing to it can create more problems than just saying no in the beginning.
Instead of apologizing, show some gratitude
Making excuses or apologizing might put you in a negative light, so it is better that you practice gratitude than saying ‘sorry’, every time you say no. You apologize when you have hurt someone, not for standing up for yourself. Instead, try saying “thank you” for their efforts in the relationship. This way your partner will not feel rejected, which will help them to understand you better.
Sometimes just say “YES”
Self-care is an important part of who you are but relationships are as important. The people who love you and inspire you each day should be given importance as these are the people who contribute to self-love. When you have to agree to your partner’s plans, just think about how they have been instrumental to your overall growth and say “yes”. Showing gratitude towards a person can help nurture your bond with your loved one.
Healthy relationships depend on the combination of communicating your boundaries and listening to your partner with utmost attention and care. If you wish to say no sometimes, do not hold back and tell them the truth, instead of cooking up stories or apologizing for yourself. Self-care is important and so are relationships. The trick is not how to say no but perfecting the craft of balancing a relationship in a way that satisfies your partner and your need to self-care.
