Love and relationships are beautiful and add so much meaning to our lives. There is nothing better than having a special someone in your life with whom you can share your joys, accomplishments, and even your sorrows.
Yet, the movies will often have us believe that love and relationships are similar to fairytales and that they’re always smooth, easy-going, and ideal. That’s far from the truth.
Every now and then there will be arguments. Sometimes, we not only hurt our partners but we get hurt too and are left feeling that trust has been broken.
Some fights aren’t easy to recover from. Keeping reading to learn how to rebuild trust after a fight.
1. Rekindling the Flame: How to Rebuild Trust After a Fight
While it’s normal for couples to argue, a fight can have a lingering effect. The words uttered in the heat of the moment can deeply wound your partner and may even leave him or her questioning the strength of your bond.
Similarly, you can also be deeply offended and believe that there’s no trust in the relationship. However, there is no need to worry because there are ways to get the relationship back on track.
One way to do this is to have an open, honest discussion of your feelings after the fight. It might be hard to do, but it is better to discuss any lingering contempt or negative thoughts towards your partner.
Address them and move on. If bad feelings are allowed to simmer, they can produce resentment, and this can cause bigger problems in the relationship.
2. Open Communication
As stated earlier, it is important for both partners to voice how they felt during the argument. Without going into detail, each partner should mention a few of the feelings that the argument evoked for them. This discussion will highlight the emotions that each partner felt.
This will enable you and your partner to have a better understanding of each other’s feelings. It is important to understand that you and your partner’s experience during the argument will often be different.
Try to understand where he or she is coming from and use empathy to validate their feelings. When it is your turn to voice your feelings and emotions, do so as honestly as possible.
Avoid heaping blame and criticisms on your partner. It is integral for both of you to take ownership of how you contributed to the conflict.
3. Respecting Each Other’s Boundaries
If after the argument your partner asks for space or a break, respect that wish. He or she might just be overwhelmed and needs to process their thoughts and feelings. Don’t take it personally.
You might be the one who needs a bit of space and time after the fight. That’s normal, but let your partner know.
Don’t just stonewall them or give them the cold shoulder. Your partner might see this as a form of punishment and refrain from sharing their feelings in the future.
If your partner is still hurting, don’t just say I’m sorry. Instead, go ahead and explain what you’re sorry for and why. Also, make an effort to say how you will prevent it or work on it in the future.
4. Let Bygones be Bygones
Don’t repeat words that your partner said during the fight. In addition, do not blame the fight on your partner.
If your partner wants to revisit the issues, do so in order to understand where they’re coming from. Be open to their questions and concerns. A good way to grasp their feelings is to paraphrase what they said so that you’re on the same page.
Remember, you don’t always have to have the last word, and sometimes finding creative ways to apologize can go a long way in breaking the ice. Try giving a gift, as this can be seen as a way of waving the proverbial white flag and signal the end of the hostility.
5. Working Towards the Future
Focus on a solution to the issue that caused the fight. One thing to do is to have a criticism-free discussion to find ways in which you can talk about the issue more positively should it reoccur.
Make it a habit to talk about negative emotions before they boil into an argument. This kind of honesty fosters mutual understanding. In the long run, this understanding will lead to a much closer and stronger bond.
Also, if you’re still feeling the effects of the fight, don’t use it to call your partner names or to compare them to your friend’s partner. What you should do is ask your partner to discuss your thoughts and feelings with you.
This open, honest, and uncritical communication will show your partner that you not only take responsibility but that you’re also willing to do the work needed to resolve your issues and move on.
Growing Stronger Together!
Sometimes things can get so heated you may begin to feel that there is no going back. You begin to worry that the relationship might be over.
Don’t close the curtains on the show just yet. There is hope.
First of all, it is important for both of you to have a discussion to understand where you were both coming from during the argument. Respect each other’s need for space, and don’t give your partner the cold shoulder.
Additionally, don’t just apologize, but try to explain why you are apologizing and set up preventative measures for the future. Importantly, don’t keep revisiting the argument unless your partner wants to. Find solutions that will strengthen your bond so that you can grow stronger after a fight.
