There isn’t just one secret to a happy relationship. There are actually several.
And these things aren’t magical, unheard of solutions. Instead, they are actually very simple things we just tend to overlook.
But that doesn’t make them any less important.
If you want to make sure you and your spouse have a happy relationship, you need to be doing these things.
Take a look at this guide to creating a happy relationship.
First of All, a Happy Relationship Doesn’t Just “Happen”
A lot of people believe happy relationships just happen naturally, and while some may, most relationships take a lot of work.
Picture your relationship as a goldfish you won at the fair. If you don’t feed it, the goldfish won’t last very long. The same is true of your relationship. If you leave it on its own and don’t take care of it, the relationship will most likely start to die.
You should address any problems you’re having in the relationship right away. Did you and your spouse have a misunderstanding? Discuss it as soon as you can.
These small things, if left unaddressed, can choke your relationship.
So though happy relationships are possible, they take a lot of work. If you and your partner are willing to invest the time and effort into your relationship, you should get positive results.
Not Even a Happy Relationship Is a Perfect Relationship
Those just don’t exist.
Every relationship will go through their ups and downs, but that isn’t a bad thing. It’s just something you should be prepared for.
Set a realistic expectation for your relationship. The giddy infatuation you had at the beginning of the relationship won’t last forever, but a stronger relationship can come after.
But understanding your relationship won’t be perfect all the time will help you prepare for and handle those hard moments.
So What Do I Do About It?
There are a lot of things you can do that will make your relationship a strong and happy one. If you follow these strategies, you may even be able to make those harder times easier and fewer.
Here’s a list of seven things you should incorporate into your relationship.
1. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
Sounds simple, right?
It isn’t always.
A lack of communication can make your relationship fail faster than anything else. But communication doesn’t just mean talking, it means listening.
All communication should consist of three things:
- listening
- empathizing
- sharing your thoughts and feelings
If you follow this format, you’ll find it harder to be defensive or get into arguments.
When your partner has something to say, let them say it. Listen to them without interrupting. Then, and only after they’re completely finished, summarize what you heard them say so you’re both on the same page.
Empathizing with your partner can be hard sometimes, but do your best. This will show your partner you understand their position and make it easier for them to listen to your side.
2. Be Honest with Each other
Sharing too much is always better than sharing too little.
If you aren’t honest with your partner, you’ll breed doubt, and doubt breaks trust. A relationship without trust doesn’t usually last very long. It can take a long time to rebuild trust in a relationship where it was broken.
Honesty should be a natural part of your relationship. An honest couple is a happy couple.
3. Spend a Time Together
This might not be hard when you first start dating, but things like work, kids, and life in general will start to get in the way.
Spending time together is important for a happy relationship, and it should be one of your top priorities.
But make it quality time. Don’t count sitting together in front of the TV (unless, of course, that’s something you and your partner bond over). Even if TV is your thing, make an effort to get out and make memories with your partner away from normal responsibilities.
4. Spend Time on Your Own
This might sound backward, but getting your alone time is an important part of a happy relationship.
Partaking in your own separate interests and hobbies will refresh you, and you’ll come back to the relationship with more energy. Besides, absence really does makes the heart grow fonder.
5. Accept that You Can’t Solve Every Problem
You and your partner most likely won’t agree on everything. So instead of trying to solve every problem, recognize there are some problems you won’t be able to “solve.”
In these cases, compromises become your best tool.
Work around the problem with your partner. Don’t waste extra time and energy trying to fix it or arguing about it.
Even happy relationships have problems, they just choose to handle it better than others.
6. Accept Your Differences
Parts of your partner might drive you crazy, but don’t let those things frustrate you. Do your best to accept them instead.
After all, those things are part of what makes your partner who they are. Focus on the positive side of those things and find a reason to appreciate them.
You and your partner are different people, and the differences between you could be what makes your relationship so strong.
7. Don’t Take Your Partner for Granted
Find ways to show your partner how much you appreciate them, and tell them how much they mean to you. This may seem like a small gesture, but it can strengthen your relationship like nothing else.
Respecting your partner will earn their respect in return.
Your partner will love hearing these words of affirmation, and they’ll probably start to give them to you in return.
A Happy Relationship Comes with Time
Putting these things in your relationship may not be easy, and it may take some time. But be patient. If you consistently work toward a happy relationship, it’ll no doubt start to improve, even if the progress is slow.
