Buddhist weddings are profound celebrations of love, commitment and mutual growth in the serene and spiritual realm of the religion. Steeped in timeless traditions and guided by the principles of compassion, wisdom, and mindfulness, this special day in the Buddhist couple’s life focuses on their spiritual connection.
Unlike other cultural weddings in India, Buddhist weddings are characterised by their simplicity and lack of pomp. However, each ritual has a significant meaning, like the renowned symbol featuring a Buddha Hand with Ashok Chakra, which embodies the meaning that there is life in movement and death in stagnation.
This wedding season, as we delve into the world of Buddhist weddings, here we’ll explore the rituals and symbolism that make these unions so unique and meaningful.
Buddhist Pre-Wedding Rituals
Before jumping into the wedding rituals and symbols, let’s take a quick look at the significant pre-wedding traditions of Buddhist weddings:
- Matchmaking – The first step of a Buddhist marriage is when the Kikas (horoscopes) of the two people who will be united by the spiritual bond are matched. As per the age-old customs, the initial step is made from the groom’s side.
- Khachang – Once the horoscopes are matched, a friend of the groom’s family approaches the girl’s family with a bottle of wine and an honorary white scarf known as the ‘Khada’. The girl’s family then merrily accept these gifts, and the families agree upon a date of engagement based on the Kikas.
- Nangchang or Chessian – This refers to the formal engagement ceremony between the to-be-married couple in Buddhist culture. The ceremony is generally presided over by a monk or Rinpoche.
The maternal uncle of the bride’s parents sits on a raised platform with the Rinpoche (monk), who recites a prayer for the couple’s happy life together. A sacred beverage named Madyan is served to the guests to toast for the couple’s good health.
Followed by an exchange of gifts, the final marriage date is set, and the couple begins living together in the girl’s house.
Buddhist wedding rituals
Buddhist weddings are small and private affairs that take place at a temple or at the bride’s home. The bride wears a dress called Bhaku (a full-length sarong) with Hanju (a long-sleeved blouse), a special jacket, and a scarf. The groom wears a Bhaku with Lajha (a waistcoat), a cap, and a sash around the waist. For the religious ceremony at home, a shrine is set up with a statue of Buddha decorated with flowers, candles, and incense sticks.
- Offerings – The couple and their families show their reverence to Buddha by making offerings which include candles, incense, flowers, and food. This symbolises the couple stepping into a prosperous union with the blessing from Buddha.
- Hands tying with a red thread – A monk or elder present ties the couple’s hands together with a red or white thread, symbolising the couple’s spiritual and emotional union. This thread also symbolises protection, good fortune, and the connection between two souls.
- Wrapping of white thread around the couple’s heads – In some Southeast Asian countries like Cambodia, Buddhists wrap a long white thread around the couple’s heads to make a joined headpiece, symbolising them as one.
- Pouring of water into a silver bowl – The bride and groom then pour a jug of water into a silver bowl to symbolise their togetherness in the various phases of life.
- Recitation of vows – Before the ceremony, the couple recites traditional undertakings from the Sigilovdda Sutta, the Vandana, the Tisarana, and the Pancasila to each other in front of a shrine.
- Pledges – The bride and groom pledge to each other and make promises to love, respect, be kind, considerate, and faithful, and develop their hearts and minds to see challenges as opportunities for growth in their lives ahead.
- Chanting of holy versus – The couple chants the Heart Sutra, the triple refuge, or Buddhist poetry.
- San San Kudo (Three-Three, Nine Times) – Following this, as per the age-old Japanese tradition, the couple sips sake (an alcoholic beverage made from fermented rice) from three different cups representing the three jewels: the Buddha, Dharma (teachings) and Sangha (community). The couple also, at times, offers sake to their parents.
- Receiving blessings – After the newlyweds exchange vows, they take their parents’ blessings to begin their marital journey. The guests also recite the verses from Mangal Sutta and Jayamangala Gatha while offering blessings to the newlywed couple.
Buddhist Post-Wedding Ritual
The newly wedded couple leaves the girl’s paternal home on a date determined by kikas, generally between the first and tenth day of the wedding. In many cultures, folk songs and dance become part of the celebrations, symbolising the merry union between two souls and their families.
