Anyone can be jealous every time he/she sees any threat to his/her relationship. In general, jealously means a desire for something that another person has. Some people may confuse it with care for another person, but it is actually a negative emotion. The emotion could pull you down and is also quite capable of pulling the relationship apart. Therefore, make sure jealousy doesn’t manifest in your mind such that it causes troubles in your relationship.
Conquering your Jealousy
- Understand the emotion – Jealously is a mixed feeling of fear and anger triggered by the threat of losing someone. Knowing jealousy and its signs is self-defence.
- Control your emotions – Ask yourself as to why you are feeling fear or anger. Among the questions you should ask yourself include ‘What is making me jealous?’, ‘Do I feel threatened’, ‘Is the person really a threat to you or your relationship?’, ‘What will be the impact of my jealous behaviour on others?’ and ‘why am I jealous over this issue?’ Knowing the reason and the consequences will help you control the emotions.
- Find out the reason for you being jealous – a high level of insecurity and anger towards yourself and the fear of abandonment or vulnerability are reasons that lead to jealously. Figure out why you feel jealous in the first place. It may also trigger when you just cannot trust the other person you are in a relationship with. Be compassionate about assessing yourself to find the reason behind your jealousy.
- How is jealously affecting people around you – Don’t be too selfish to forget people around you and let them suffer because of your behaviour. People feeling the heat of your jealousy are bound to get frustrated, irritated and angry.
- Sort out the jealousy problem with partner – Have a dialogue with your partner about things concerning you to know if there is any constructive approach to get over jealously pang. In the discussion, never accuse your partner or tell him that he/she is the cause of your erratic behaviour. Avoid remarks, such as ‘you make me feel’ or ‘you shouldn’t have done that’.
- Trust yourself and your partner – If you trust yourself, you will probably trust your partner too. If you trust your partner, you will always be secure and comfortable and therefore, be able to rule out jealousy from getting on your way to a blissful relationship. Make time for yourself and focus on yourself instead of the person you are jealous of.
